November 26, 2023—Marriage is both challenging and rewarding. Differences in taste, opinion, and choices make us grow as individuals and as a couple. In marriage, we grow together; sometimes, we grow at different paces. Fear not if your husband or wife is making you mad or upset. You have come to the right place. There is a marriage counselor near you and very much within you that is free. The Holy Spirit who is described as “the Helper” by Jesus in John 16:7. Jesus Christ of Nazareth said that the Holy Spirit came to convict the world of sin, judgment, and righteousness (John 16:8). Jesus describes these three things further in the next couple of verses as summarized below:
Sin, because people do not believe in Jesus Christ.
Righteousness, because Jesus went to the Father.
Judgement, because Satan is already judged.
If you received Jesus Christ as your savior, the Holy Spirit is your Helper, and He is truthful. He (the Holy Spirit) will tell you if you are right or wrong. The same concept applies to your spouse. If your husband or wife is not a believer, consider this verse, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.” (1 Corinthians 7:14). By your character in Christ, you lead nonbelievers to see that you are different. Jesus said that you are the light among the darkness (see Matthew 5:14) and the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13). Therefore, Acts 16:31 declares you and your household will be saved even if only you believe in Jesus Christ.
If your marriage is in trouble, I encourage you to read the Holy Bible and pray. The Holy Spirit will care for the rest, but you must submit yourself to Him. Now, I know that when you fight with your husband or wife, you consider a divorce. However, this is the voice of Satan and not the Holy Spirit. Before browsing for a divorce lawyer, I want you to know and understand what Jesus says about marriage.
Marriage and Divorce According to Jesus
Matthew 19:1-10 records an interaction between Jesus and the Pharisees (religious zealots in Israel during Jesus’s time). When the Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, Jesus responded:
Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
Shortly after our wedding, I asked God for a passage for us. The Holy Spirit led me to Ezekiel 37, where God told Ezekiel the two nations of Judah and Israel would be combined as one nation. Verse 19 stuck out almost immediately:
“ say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Surely I will take the stick of Joseph, which is in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel, his companions; and I will join them with it, with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they will be one in My hand.”
In His response, Jesus Christ said God intends marriage between a man and a woman, and what God brings together, no man should separate. However, the Pharisees pushed further because they were testing Jesus. They asked Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” (verse 7). Jesus said,
Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
Matthew 19:8-9
Marriage is so important that one of the commandments is, “You shall not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14). Not only is it a commandment, but consider its order concerning the other commandments. It comes just after “You shall not murder”(Exodus 20:13) and before “You shall not steal.” (Exodus 20:15). With God, everything has a purpose, and nothing in the universe or on the earth is unintentional. If marriage were something temporary, a commandment of adultery wouldn’t be made in the top ten laws. As you know, rules are meant to keep you in line. God’s laws are no different, though they are harder to obey. God puts adultery there to keep you from sinning. Jesus brings about adultery as He compares it to divorce, cementing the concept that divorce is a sin.
Overall, marriage is meant to make you grow both as an individual and a couple. As the years unfold, you will be refined. Marriage is natural, not obligatory. Jesus said that some are called to practice celibacy. Yet, Jesus said that if you look at a woman and have a lust for her, then you have committed adultery in your heart. The Holy Bible clearly states that the heart is deceiving (see Jeremiah 17:9-10). Do not be fooled. This works both ways. Any woman who has lust for a man has also committed adultery. When you consider Jesus’s points on adultery, there are very few who can practice true celibacy.
Divorce, on the other hand, is not natural. If you are thinking of a divorce every time you get into a fight or do not get your way, that is Satan. Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy (Matthew 10:28). Operating in the shadows, he will steal the truth from you and try to kill or destroy you, your body, spirit, and soul.
Yet, we must remember that Jesus’s life on earth, crucifixion, resurrection, and ascension defeated Satan. Before Jesus’s trial, He hinted that He was going somewhere. One of His disciples asked where He was going. John 6:36 records Jesus’s response, “Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward.” Jesus went where no man could enter and then depart. Revelation 1:18 tells us that Jesus Christ is alive forevermore, and He took the keys of Hades and Death. That is where Jesus was going.
The Holy Bible says that no one can enter hell and leave. Once condemned and committed, you are in hell for eternity (Luke 16:26). So Jesus gives you the Holy Spirit as a guide to help you learn and grow in Christ. Thus, you have the authority in you to rebuke Satan. Therefore, I say whenever you consider divorce except for sexual immorality, rebuke Satan that very second. The obvious answer if you are in danger is to go where it is safe.
I cannot stress these points on marriage deeply enough. However, we can dig deep into the Holy Bible. To do this, we will turn to the beginning.
Marriage in the Beginning
When God created Adam, He saw that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:22). The result was the creation of Eve, a helper for Adam. God then gave Eve to Adam. Biblically speaking, since Eve was created from one of Adam’s ribs, Adam stated:
“This is now bones of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Genesis 2:23
Verse 24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Note how the Holy Bible says husband, not husbands, and wife, not wives. God did not create more than one woman for Adam. The reverse is also true: God did not make more than one man for Eve. Pay attention to how Adam is the husband and Eve is his wife. Therefore, God intends marriage between one man and one woman.
What role does a husband play for his wife? Likewise, what role does a wife play for her husband? Paul explains that wives should submit to their husbands, and the husband is the head of his wife in Ephesians 5:22-23. Paul then compares this to the church’s submission to Christ in verses 23-24. On the other hand, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, and for the church, Jesus Christ died (verse 24). Furthermore, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul outlines the biblical principles of husbands and wives:
To render affection to each other.
The authority of your body belongs to your husband or wife.
Do not deprive affection of each other except on mutual consent as a time for fasting and prayer.
Do not divorce each other if you do remain unmarried so you can be reconciled.
Of these four points, Paul says the first three are as a concession (verse 6). Meanwhile, the fourth point is a commandment from God (verse 10). Brothers and sisters in Christ, I have a testimony on this fourth point. A couple at my church was married for six months. They divorced but still attended church services. Time passed, and the wife started dating someone else. However, for one reason or another, they broke up. Then, miraculously, she began experiencing feelings for her husband. They got remarried and remain married today. They now even help with church services. Hallelujah!
Bible Verses About Marriage
Suppose you are in a similar predicament to my testimony or need some encouragement in your marriage. In that case, I suggest looking at these verses about marriage that can be applied to marriage. However, please pray and read the Holy Bible. Reading articles should never replace prayer and reading the Holy Bible.
Wives
Colossians 3:18- Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Proverbs 12:4- An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 19:14- “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
Proverbs 31:10- Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
Husbands
1 Peter 3:7- Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Genesis 2:24- “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Love and Marriage
1 Peter 4:8- And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
Hebrews 13:4- Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:
Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.
Accepting Jesus
Perhaps you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your savior. Maybe this is the only place you heard of Him so boldly and profoundly spoken of. If you are ready to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, say this prayer aloud:
God, I confess that Jesus came in the flesh and blood, paid the price for my sins, died on the cross, rose on the third day, ascended to the heavens, and sent the Holy Spirit to help me understand Your ways. For that, I accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord, and I welcome the Holy Spirit in my life. In Jesus’s name, I pray, amen!