June 23, 2024—We are more connected than ever. Smartphones, tablets, and computers, not to mention social media applications, help us connect with family and friends in other regions. This has been an excellent tool for many people and situations. In a world that is so digitally connected, why does it feel that we are so detached?
Our friends come and go. With age comes responsibility. Situations cause us to leave our homes for university or a career. As you age, families begin to form and grow. Marriage and children will turn your life around, changing you in ways that are (hopefully) holy to God. As a result, it could be that your, or your friends’, priorities have shifted. As your family grows, your inner circle seems to shrink. You will begin to see your friends less and less as time progresses.
The need for a spiritual friend with the same moral compass and belief systems makes it trickier to find friends, especially in a world run by the enemy. The enemy easily influences both believers and nonbelievers. Given this circumstance, it appears that we are not poised to find true Christian friends. How can we possibly find friends under these circumstances? Do not worry. The answer is in the Holy Bible.
What is a Good Friend
According to the book of Proverbs, a friend loves continually (Proverbs 17:17). What is love? It is a verb, an action word. Not a noun or a description (adjective). To love means showing them, not telling them. Paul said:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Are the people around you projecting love as a Christian should? Are they present for major events? Do they help you in times of need? Are they honest with you no matter the circumstance? Have they said things not to bring you down but to set you straight? Do they send thoughtful gifts from time to time? These are things that love will do and, by extension, a good friend.
On the contrary, if someone is deceitful or overwhelmingly prideful, causing them to sin or act rudely, they are someone to avoid. Of these, stay away from them.
Gaining a Christian Friend
Of course, to gain a friend, you need to be friendly yourself:
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 18:24
How can you be friendly? Love one another. The Old Testament required the Israelites to love their neighbor as they would themselves (Leviticus 19:18). Jesus Christ emphasized this when He commanded the disciples to love one another, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.” (John 13:34). Yet, He took this a step further requiring us even to love our enemies:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. ’But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48
To gain a Christian friend, attend church services, meetings and events. Talk to the church members and show them kindness. Be present for them in the good and bad times.
But remember this: Jesus said, “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” (John 15:14). There is no greater friend than Jesus, no greater helper than the Holy Spirit, and no greater Father than God. Jesus is the friend that “sticks closer than a brother,” as Solomon indicated in Proverbs 18:24. Jesus gave His spirit, the Holy Spirit, to you when you accepted Christ as your savior. He will never abandon you (John 14:18).
Accepting Jesus
Perhaps you didn’t know that Jesus calls you His friend, and you haven’t accepted Him as Savior and Lord. Jesus was a living sacrifice who died on the cross to pay the price for your sins. Three days later, he rose from the dead. He remained in the resurrected body for 40 days, where hundreds of people saw him. Then, He ascended to heaven, where He sits at the right hand of God, building a place for you and acting as your mediator with God. Will you accept Jesus in your life today? All you need to do is say this prayer aloud.
God, I confess that Jesus came in the flesh and blood, paid the price for my sins, died on the cross, rose on the third day, ascended to the heavens, and sent the Holy Spirit to help me understand Your ways. For that, I accept Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord, and I welcome the Holy Spirit in my life. In Jesus’s name I pray, amen!